The past weeks where sad ones. We had a bereavement in our family and as many of you know that means a hard time for the bereaved. You come to think of all kind of memories you have of the decedent, all coming up in your head like a movie. And then remorse is growing inside of you: Why didn`t I stop by the last time? Why haven’t I said that I am sorry? Why did I have to swear in our last conversation?
Honestly, I do think it doesn’t matter as long as the relationship with the decedent was one of kindness and respect. And even if it wasn’t, you can’t change it now. What happened, happened. Punishing yourself with guilt is no solution. Believe me, the decedent wouldn’t have wanted you to suffer.
After the remorse, most likely other thoughts pop up in your mind after a bereavement: Why now? It can be over at any time. Tomorrow I could be dead. If I would die tomorrow, would I have missed something in my life? Any regrets? What is the essence of life anyway?
Facing mortality, your own and of your beloved, is an discomforting and weird thing if you ask me. I mean, we all know we are going to die so what’s the fuss all about?
Because our brain is programmed this way in order to let us forget about that fact. If we would think about dying all the time, we wouldn’t have the energy to chase our goals in life, our dreams. We would be in a bad mood all the time to say the least. So, our brain is protecting us in way. Which is a good thing.
On the other hand, I think from time to time we should be reminded of our mortality, otherwise we would be in danger to lose ourselves. We need to rethink some decisions in our life and focus on the things that matter. We should be reminded of the fact that our time on earth is limited and therefore precious. Very precious.
So many people are wasting time with things they don’t want to do. They do it because it is expected from them or because they lost track of their original plans. There are many reasons why we often find ourselves in places we don’t want to be. Being reminded of our limited time is going to help us to refocus on our life goals and dreams. I know that this isn’t helping when you have to cope with the loss of a beloved one, then everything is dark and empty. But I also know, that living a fulfilled life with healthy and respectful relationships is going to avoid regrets.