I just read an article on Facebook about a 40-year-old woman, CEO of her own company, childless. Said woman chose her career over being a mother and “still feels feminine.” I’m asking you: Why the fuck wouldn’t she feel feminine?!” Is not having kids making women less feminine? I can’t believe this is still a thing in 2017! Is a man who chose not to become a father less masculine? More the opposite, all the Don Juans in the world would say.
I am furious! Furious, because I can’t get my head around the fact that women, who don’t want to have kids, still have to justify their choice. I am one of these women and I say: My life, my choice! MY.CHOICE. ! I am a woman, I am feminine, no matter if I ever become a mother or not!
I believe, the wish for a child should be a craving, a desire. I am 36 and I still don’t feel that way and if this hasn’t changed when I am in my 40ies, I won’t have any kids. There are still no signs for a growing desire for a child in me and I am happy with it.
I am simply not a baby person, and I never might be. But that’s not a bad thing. Bad would be to become a mother against my inner belief, because then the child would be the victim and that I want to avoid.
Why is it so difficult to understand? Isn’t it better not to get a baby when you don’t really want to?
There are too many people out there who, in my opinion, shouldn’t be parents and who maybe would have been better off by listening to their hearts.
I do listen to my heart and my gut feeling. I honestly believe that is the only way to live a happy life. If your heart says, motherhood would be the best thing, then a child will bring you the greatest joy. If your heart says, travelling all over the world is what you want, then go. And maybe your heart tells you after returning from your trip, now would be a great time for becoming a parent, then it will be.
But never, I say never (!), listen to other people what would be best for you. You are not living your life for our society, your family or friends. You are living this life for yourself and only for yourself! And only you know what is best for you.
If you have made a choice, no matter if for or against motherhood, you will be happy with it as long it is your own choice. Choices and feelings can change too, so please, don’t stick to a choice because of false pride. If a child is not for you now, maybe it is in 5 years. Don’t stress yourself. You never know. As long as you listen to yourself, you won’t make the wrong choices.