Speaking of Creative Mess I am not particularly meaning heaps of spreadsheets, books, sketches and drafts of articles lying around all over our house, I am talking about the mess in my head.
I don’t know if you know the feeling of being torn between loving what you could do and hating the things you have to do, i.e. a job which is not even close to satisfying.
Yes, I am impatient. I have only about 1,5 years left until the end of my bachelor studies but at times like these, I am really struggling keeping a positive energy and motivation for my current “situation”. I know I should be glad to have a job where I have the opportunity to study in the first place, but sometimes I find it very hard to cope nevertheless. Being grateful is one thing, but being unhappy with what you do at the same time is another. This is the mess in my head I am talking about.
Luckily, I like the people I am working with which makes it a lot easier to cope than it would be with colleagues less nice. So fortunately, there are still a few factors which at least make it possible to, if not particularly liking it, don’t mind going to work. The one thing I still appreciate in my job is the fact that we are helping people, sometimes with great effort, sometimes with small gestures but it’s worth the grateful smile in the end every single time. But helping people is something I can – and will – still do, if I am no longer in this job.
However, the struggle remains. If I could do as I liked, I would have a job offering more flexibility and more challenge. I would work at home half of the week, on my own schedule. I would work on projects I would honestly enjoy and where I could use my creativity and humour for creating awesome articles, blogs, columns or PR-strategy for great products.
I like to picture myself in my future dream job, because it is one thing that helps me getting back my positive attitude by looking forward to it. Fact is, I have to be patient and find a way back to my inner peace. I am very grateful for having a supporting man in my life who makes it all a lot easier. Yes, sometimes he needs to be harsh to make me hear him out, but that’s the way proven the right one over the past years. A so called kick in the ass has never failed its purpose to put everything back into the right perspective. 😉
In the end, I have to sit it out until I am properly trained to take up my dream job. However, be assured I am going to make the best out of the remaining time, most likely filling it with activities like climbing, running, hiking, writing, reading and…. Oh, yes: studying!